[Stiggers] You'll Never Take Aunt Tee-Tee Alive

Grandma Lucy McBride:

"Dear Diary: I'm not happy when I go to my mailbox. I receive lots of bad news in the form of energy bills. I'm retired and live on a fixed income. So what do you get when you have a $674 electric bill and a $559 heating bill? You get ticked off! And if you cannot make the payments, your utilities are cut off.

"Bills that total $1,100 a month in utilities when you have only $900 is madness. Soon you'll hear stories about senior citizens resorting to crimes like shoplifting, soliciting, burglary and possibly car theft. Picture your dear old Aunt Tee-Tee as a suspect on the 'America's Most Wanted' television show. Imagine your lovable Grandpa Sonny eluding police during a low-speed car chase, while Grandma Gracie is caught on videotape stealing bottles of Ensure to sell to elderly patients at the Senior Home for seniors.

"What a shame! I remember Miss Wanda, senior greeter and third shift fry cook at Crunchie Burga World, telling me that retirement is a thing of the past for poor old seniors like us. Miss Wanda added, 'People have choices: get another job, pay those high utility bills, or get out and vote for a politician who is sympathetic to the people's needs.'

"As my warm thoughts struggle against the cold deeds of corporate America, I realize it's winter, and nobody's fighting because no one knows what to save."

Previous Comments


Dude, that's deep. You can include disabled folks in that as well, especially when the disability is not apparent to the naked eye.



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